How do you rate a person who likes to indirectly criticise you in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, this person will talk to you nicely and courteously.
Junior
How do you rate a person who likes to indirectly criticise you in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, this person will talk to you nicely and courteously.
Junior
Actually this person is better than a person who talks to you nicely and courteously in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, indirectly criticise you.Originally Posted by irisng
Junior
You mean how would I rate a property agent?
Junior
Don't you think that this person is trying to make you loose face in front of your friends/relatives maybe out of some jealousy that you are well taken care/respect by your friends/relatives. Occassionally, she will mention that “一样是人，但是命不一样."Actually this person is better than a person who talks to you nicely and courteously in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, indirectly criticise you.
Junior
Property agents are business minded people. A true friend is one who helps and listens to your sorrow and not add fire into it.
Junior
How about a wife who always scold her husband in front of his relatives & children but when nobody is around, never want to talk to him.
Senior
Nothing to says. Juzt ignore znd stay zway fm them. This is negative people which is no good for me.Don't you think that this person is trying to make you loose face in front of your friends/relatives maybe out of some jealousy that you are well taken care/respect by your friends/relatives. Occassionally, she will mention that “一样是人，但是命不一样."
mutant powerpuff
Yup agree with u.
According to desiderata :
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
Senior
Depending can this person be avoided. If can, like a distant friend or relative whom I'll meet only once a year, I'll simply ignore it and try not to cross path. However, if this person cannot be avoid, like direct family member or even spouse, then I'll speak to this person in a non confrontational way to clarify and put a stop to such negative vibes. Then again if its a colleague, I may well tell another colleague to speak to him/her on my behalf coz still have to work together and things can get really ugly if mishandled!
Junior
Yup, I think this type of people should less associate with but if it is a very close relative who will meet whenever there is a gathering, then no choice, try to talk lesser to her. During gathering, if she asked you to do something but not up to her expectation, she will sure to have something to comment, like "off course lah, got people to serve you loh". She is very good at looking at people's faces and situation, sometimes when she knewDepending can this person be avoided. If can, like a distant friend or relative whom I'll meet only once a year, I'll simply ignore it and try not to cross path. However, if this person cannot be avoid, like direct family member or even spouse, then I'll speak to this person in a non confrontational way to clarify and put a stop to such negative vibes. Then again if its a colleague, I may well tell another colleague to speak to him/her on my behalf coz still have to work together and things can get really ugly if mishandled!
that you are angry, she will try to divert the topic and say something else to please you.
Senior
Got a relative who always like to show-off. Bring whatever e-gadgets that are popular at that time. Blackberry, Iphone, Ipad, etc. Told me Audi is the best car in Euro becos they are driving audi. I have stayed away from them during gathering. Not sure why must they brag? They will probably drive me to all their houses for a tour if they have bought a few.
Exalted
tot its vy common for ppl to bring along ipad, iphone wif them? so common and how to show off? bot new cars mabe la or mabe luxury watches/branded bagsGot a relative who always like to show-off. Bring whatever e-gadgets that are popular at that time. Blackberry, Iphone, Ipad, etc. Told me Audi is the best car in Euro becos they are driving audi. I have stayed away from them during gathering. Not sure why must they brag? They will probably drive me to all their houses for a tour if they have bought a few.
Senior
Exactly what you have just said: branded bags, watches, brand clothes of which their children are wearing, etc. They will stand in the most prominent in the house with the ipad and display it. Probably waiting for people to ask: Oh! You have an Ipad!
Exalted
tot tats the whole idea of buying branded stuff rite? quality isnt any better(mostly made in china or other 3rd world countries nowadays) LOL
gers like to carry branded handbags.....some wif big big brand name on the bag! hehehe
Junior
I'm different, I like to keep myself low profile. I don't go for branded stuff because I personally feel that as long as it can be used or comfortable to wear, it should be ok. Advantages of buying non-branded stuff are that they are cheap and if spoil or don't like it, you throw away, you don't feel the pinch because it is not expensive.
Junior
When I see people having the branded bags, watches, clothes, I don't bother to go and ask, maybe just say, hmm.. quite nice er.
Senior
Some useful guidelinesYup, I think this type of people should less associate with but if it is a very close relative who will meet whenever there is a gathering, then no choice, try to talk lesser to her. During gathering, if she asked you to do something but not up to her expectation, she will sure to have something to comment, like "off course lah, got people to serve you loh". She is very good at looking at people's faces and situation, sometimes when she knew
that you are angry, she will try to divert the topic and say something else to please you.
1. Do not initiate conversation with her
2. Try to look busy when she's approaching, like deep in thoughts if no one is around for you to pretend you are in conversation with.
3. Avoid eye contact w her.
4. Don't even sit near to her... best separate table if possible. Otherwise, when she's eating, you don't eat first. Wait till she's done then you go and have your meal.
5. If possible, stagger the time you arrive at big functions. If you can know her time of arrival, you plan something so that you genuinely arrive late so can minimize time together! But of course not at the expense of precious time with other relatives!
Senior
I play reverse psychology. When I know people are trying to get attention for their new ipad, iphone5, etc., I will deliberately not even talk about it, as if not noticing it.When I see people having the branded bags, watches, clothes, I don't bother to go and ask, maybe just say, hmm.. quite nice er.I'm evil!
Senior
People arrived at the level of being rich does not need to show people they are there. People who are getting there have to show that they are there.
I'm different, I like to keep myself low profile. I don't go for branded stuff because I personally feel that as long as it can be used or comfortable to wear, it should be ok. Advantages of buying non-branded stuff are that they are cheap and if spoil or don't like it, you throw away, you don't feel the pinch because it is not expensive.
Senior
Sometimes I feel that buying a branded car is more of a showoff than buying a condo or landed!
Well I will not volunteer an information like I just bought a new car or a new condo/house. Usually my parent/kids will take care of that! I'll just acknowledge when asked by my relatives! LOL!
Singapore = $ingapore
yea... we just act cool and nod when they ask...
Junior
Sounds very much like the love-hate relationship between PAP and Singaporeans.Actually this person is better than a person who talks to you nicely and courteously in front of your friends / relatives but when nobody is around, indirectly criticise you.
Oops, I am the old man's filipino wife that is doing the posting. I am not related to Gay Chao Hui's wife.
I am new here...
Hi Bro Wenqing, you in SG or China now? Have yet to see u here for quite a while....
Daft, Dafter, Dafterest!!!!
Perennial
That's what I'm afraid of. So I don't tell my parents
Junior
Nobody knows (include my own brothers and sisters) that we have a 2nd car (but a SECOND HAND CAR, haha), except my husband side because occasionally, we need to have 2 cars to go to Malaysia with my in-laws for a short holiday.
Junior
Am I bragging? Sorry my apology if I phrase it wrongly, I don't mean it.
Junior
Wah... hats off to Wenqing... didn't know this topic which is off tangent can also be politicised.
Junior
It is quite difficult because most of the time she arrived late. Remember 1 year when we had our reunion dinner, supposed to meet at 7pm at Long Beach Restaurant (East Coast), we waited till 7.45pm, still no sign of her, so we called her, guess what, she was still at home (Jurong) telling us that her daughter just came back from work. Alamat, she should have told us earlier that her daughter would not be back so early, so that we could change the reservation time slightly later. No choice, we had to go into the restaurant without her because we couldn't hold back people's business as our reservation time is 7.15pm. She arrived at 8.30pm, and we had already completed almost 4 dishes.Some useful guidelines
5. If possible, stagger the time you arrive at big functions. If you can know her time of arrival, you plan something so that you genuinely arrive late so can minimize time together! But of course not at the expense of precious time with other relatives!
Every year, during prayer (to my deceased parents), she is always the one who initiates to buy the incense paper etc, then we will share out the cost, and yet she complains to people that we are so dependent on her
Senior
do a search on borderline personality disorder...
Junior
Thanks. No idea whether it is her natural personality or some borderline personality disorder. Sometimes, she told me that her parents side also very dependent on her, need her to help this and to help that but she was smiling away when she talked as though she was an important people.do a search on borderline personality disorder...
She looks normal to me. Knows how to act according to the situation and people. Sometimes her words carry "bone", but just ignore her as though she is talking to a wall.
Just recently, We have a celebration for my daughter's 21st birthday. My son brought his girlfriend along. It was the 1st time she saw my son's girlfriend. When my son's girlfriend asked my son to stand up and let my husband sit, you know what she said, "Don't need to "curry favor" until like that"
Is it this type of people is not happy with her present life but she has 2 grown up daughers who are very close and filial to her. Her younger daughter is an "U" graduate (supported by my 2nd brother during her "U" education) and is now working overseas. Her elder daughter works as an HR, doesn't mind to fetch her mother here and there when needed. Whats there to be unhappy with, if yes, maybe is her husband (whom is my elder brother) who seldoms involve in the family activities, but she shouldn't blame me for all this
Last edited by irisng; 16-09-11 at 16:55.
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