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Thread: To parent, at what age did you have your first child?

  1. #21
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    If you look at the statistics in SG, the median age for guys is 30 and gals is 27.7.

    My personal opinion is 26/27 for girls and early 30 for guy. Reason as I mentioned in another thread...... maturity and financial ability to start a family.

    Maturity - both are now ready to settle down and start a family. No more or less going to pubs or clubbing. Less impulsive and they know what kind of wife/husband they need at these age. Go for looks is normal but must also understand the other half besides the face. Tell you guys a secret here. A friend actuallly introduce me a very pretty girl before I married my wife. My wife is also pretty by my standard but still will look pale if both stand side by side. But I just don't feel secure to have such beauty as wife. No regrets for the decision made.

    Career & Income - Both should be working for at least 6 yrs already (guy got NS). So both combined income & savings (plus CPF) should be enough to buy their love nest. Don't keep relying on parents to buy for you. If parents insist on helping you with $$$, make sure you don't let them down when you married. Pay them back by installment or care for them for the rest of their life.

    Babies - if girls married at 26 & with some family planning, first child will come at 27/28 and second child probably around 32. If still want 3rd child still can make it at or before 35.


  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by PN
    If you look at the statistics in SG, the median age for guys is 30 and gals is 27.7.

    My personal opinion is 26/27 for girls and early 30 for guy. Reason as I mentioned in another thread...... maturity and financial ability to start a family.

    Maturity - both are now ready to settle down and start a family. No more or less going to pubs or clubbing. Less impulsive and they know what kind of wife/husband they need at these age. Go for looks is normal but must also understand the other half besides the face. Tell you guys a secret here. A friend actuallly introduce me a very pretty girl before I married my wife. My wife is also pretty by my standard but still will look pale if both stand side by side. But I just don't feel secure to have such beauty as wife. No regrets for the decision made.

    Career & Income - Both should be working for at least 6 yrs already (guy got NS). So both combined income & savings (plus CPF) should be enough to buy their love nest. Don't keep relying on parents to buy for you. If parents insist on helping you with $$$, make sure you don't let them down when you married. Pay them back by installment or care for them for the rest of their life.

    Babies - if girls married at 26 & with some family planning, first child will come at 27/28 and second child probably around 32. If still want 3rd child still can make it at or before 35.

    haha.. thanks for sharing. Really valuable!!

    i prefer average looking also. Definitely not into pretty girl. They really do make feel unsecure.

    And i do check the type of diet/food she eat - healthy or unhealthy & the personality - simple or complicated type .. LOL!!

    eg. i once attracted to a lady while having my meal outside sometime back..
    and she have fish & chip(fried) + a cold drink to wash down her food.. this is a big NONO...





    Quote Originally Posted by ysyap
    You are naturally speaking from a loving parents' point of view coz you are willing to dish out the cash to help him. However, is your son sharing the same view? My cousin refused to take a single cent from his parents despite the fact that they were willing to pay for his metrimonial home and wedding dinner. I never asked my parents for any help too.
    i am under this category ..find it ashamed to use my parent's money when you are already grow up. And my parent are not rich enough to pay for my wedding & house too... so, i foresee it is really up to me to work hard to settle everything myself..


    Quote Originally Posted by buttercarp
    It is good that you have the grandparent instinct.
    For me I couldn't care less if my kids got married or not, and not to mention having grandchildren.
    No way I would take care of them if I have any in future.
    Even if they get married in future, it is their problem.
    I would not want to participate in it other than giving them my blessings.
    To me if you want to bring life into this world you have to be able to provide quality care. If you are not confident, then don't bring a child into this world.
    So I would encourage my kids to think of career first before marriage.
    Good one.. must plan properly before plunge in marriage & baby .. it is a big decision to make
    I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost quotes (American poet, 1874-1963)

  3. #23
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    By today's standards, finding a girl who is married at 26 is really rare. You sure the statistic of 27.7 is updated? I vaguely remembered its like 28 or 29. Hmmm... In past 5 years, I only know of one girl who was married at 26 (not mentioning short gun lah).

  4. #24
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    Personal experience: Had my first child at 35, last child at 41.

    If I had the chance again, I would have had them earlier. As forum members have rightly pointed out, you have more energy to take care of them when you are younger.

    For guys, keep on looking. Must pay close attention to the personality and life style habits as well as the looks. The very pretty ones are somewhat of a question mark: I hear that many of the cases of cheating spouse these days involves the wife rather than the husband (this info from medical circles rather than social circles as that is where they end up when things go wrong.....). And I think another flag is the one carrying the Birkin hand bag. Need to watch out for that one as she has some tendency to value material possessions....

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by roly8
    haha.. thanks for sharing. Really valuable!!

    i prefer average looking also. Definitely not into pretty girl. They really do make feel unsecure.

    And i do check the type of diet/food she eat - healthy or unhealthy & the personality - simple or complicated type .. LOL!!

    eg. i once attracted to a lady while having my meal outside sometime back..
    and she have fish & chip(fried) + a cold drink to wash down her food.. this is a big NONO...






    i am under this category ..find it ashamed to use my parent's money when you are already grow up. And my parent are not rich enough to pay for my wedding & house too... so, i foresee it is really up to me to work hard to settle everything myself..



    Good one.. must plan properly before plunge in marriage & baby .. it is a big decision to make
    One of the worse thing to do is to subject yourself to comparison with other people. Different people have different standards when it comes to marriage age and childbearing age. It is not helpful if you keep comparing yourself with people around you. Its good that you are at least objective and know that you want to start asking and looking.

    Me no guru but just a few pointers...

    Other than the super NO NO like what you've mentioned about eating habits, etc, the funny thing is you'll never know who is the right person until you spend some time getting to know that person. That process can take up to 2 or 3 months. You not only discreetly observe but also must have lunch or chit chat with the person to have a hint of her values and perspective and hobbies, etc. Don't just watch and watch and watch then you soon realize she's attached liao...

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