To parent, at what age did you have your first child?

[PN]

Ya already test drove many until lost count liao... Still single.

Hmm...The problem doesn't lies with the girls.
It can't be 100 girls all cannot get along with you. (You said you lost count so hopefully 100 is not too low)

That means you're either too choosy, a playboy or not ready to settle down mah.

[buttercarp]

Hmm...The problem doesn't lies with the girls.
It can't be 100 girls all cannot get along with you. (You said you lost count so hopefully 100 is not too low)

That means you're either too choosy, a playboy or not ready to settle down mah.

It is like selling a property.
Just need the correct person to close the deal.

[Laguna]

I look at my daughter's friends. Now all have to stay together for at least 1-2 years before they decide whether they want to get married or not. The reason given to me was : If we dun stay together first, how are we going to know whether the marriage will work?

Also, discussing about divorce, the Gen Y takes it so easy. If dun work, that is. Seeing more and more single parents nowadays.

[howgozit]

I look at my daughter's friends. Now all have to stay together for at least 1-2 years before they decide whether they want to get married or not. The reason given to me was : If we dun stay together first, how are we going to know whether the marriage will work?

Also, discussing about divorce, the Gen Y takes it so easy. If dun work, that is. Seeing more and more single parents nowadays.

like that the girl lose out leh.... 生米煮成熟饭

or am I just old fashioned?

[buttercarp]

like that the girl lose out leh.... 生米煮成熟饭

or am I just old fashioned?

Stay together does not mean "did it".
Don't stay together does not mean ""did not do it".
It all boils down to self restraint and upbringing.

[PN]

I look at my daughter's friends. Now all have to stay together for at least 1-2 years before they decide whether they want to get married or not. The reason given to me was : If we dun stay together first, how are we going to know whether the marriage will work?

Also, discussing about divorce, the Gen Y takes it so easy. If dun work, that is. Seeing more and more single parents nowadays.

Frankly speaking I think try out first is still better than jump into a marriage blindly. If cannot get alone with, don't get married and you still a single.

But married and divorce later, people will still see you as a divorcee. If got children worst. May have problem getting marriedd again. I could be wrong but still feel that chinese generally still don't like to married a divorcee with child. That's why got single parent and probably also paranoid already. Rather not married again?

[howgozit]

Stay together does not mean "did it".
Don't stay together does not mean ""did not do it".
It all boils down to self restraint and upbringing.

what's the point of staying together but "don't do it"?

Anyway if you stay together but "don't do it" it will not simulate actual marriage conditions and thus defeats the purpose of staying together to "try it out"

[PN]

like that the girl lose out leh.... 生米煮成熟饭

or am I just old fashioned?

I would say WE are old fashioned.

But gen Y don't think that way. It's part of their life & they enjoy it.
That's way some friends were saying instead of stopping them, tell them to take precautionary measures. Must Must Must use the rubber. Abortion is bad for health & karma.

Parents like us can't stop them one. That's why I'm still brain washing my girls.... step by step.

[PN]

what's the point of staying together but "don't do it"?

Anyway if you stay together but "don't do it" it will not simulate actual marriage conditions and thus defeats the purpose of staying together to "try it out"

Exactly. If want to stay together then MUST DO IT. When a person decided to cohabitate with furture partner, must be mentally prepared to do it. Already staying together better find out everything about the him/her. Maybe one of them CANNOT DO IT how? Assuming everything is good, get married and end up with divorce.

And it is impossible to stay together and just HOLD HAND everyday in the same room and bed. Can't imagine that.

It's like wanting to test drive a car but didn't even start the engine. How to tell if the car can perform or not?

BUT BUT BUT don't do this countless time hor. Only try out if you think you want to marry him/her. If everyone also must stay togther for 1 to 2 yrs, you need 100 years to try out 50 persons.

[gn108]

I understand this has been happening in Hk for some time.

But the reasoning is slightly different - the girls move-in with the boy esp if he has his own place. Since generally HK-ers live in small spaces, if you move-in with the boy's own shoebox, your average personal space will increase!

When break-up, move back with family - "rinse and repeat" with new BF.

So SG family dynamics might go that way with more and more shoeboxes.

I look at my daughter's friends. Now all have to stay together for at least 1-2 years before they decide whether they want to get married or not. The reason given to me was : If we dun stay together first, how are we going to know whether the marriage will work?

Also, discussing about divorce, the Gen Y takes it so easy. If dun work, that is. Seeing more and more single parents nowadays.

[chiaberry]

[quote=carbuncle]

Who has custody of the kids? Or needless to ask... My parents also starkly different. One likes to go out all the time and tours etc, one loves to rot at home before the tv...

The mother had custody of the kids. Sent them to posh (read "expensive") boarding schools. The father only got to see them during holidays (provided they weren't following the mother to some exotic destination). She was a "hot" (beautiful) blonde. But as far as I am aware, neither of them remarried immediately. I could see why there was a mismatch. The husband was an ordinary-looking down-to-earth bloke. Very nice neighbour.

[buttercarp]

what's the point of staying together but "don't do it"?

Anyway if you stay together but "don't do it" it will not simulate actual marriage conditions and thus defeats the purpose of staying together to "try it out"

Marriage life is not only about "doing it".
Doing it adds to the fun and contribution to the next generation.
So if don't do it and can still tolerate the other party means that the marriage has a strong foundation and is likely to stand the test of time.

[howgozit]

Marriage life is not only about "doing it".
Doing it adds to the fun and contribution to the next generation.
So if don't do it and can still tolerate the other party means that the marriage has a strong foundation and is likely to stand the test of time.

If that is the case then no need to co-habit....

But honestly speaking... do you expect a healthy couple in their sexual prime living together, sleeping on the same bed, apparently in love with each other... to not "do it" ?

Hahaha... I thought I was old fashioned but I think you are more old fashioned than I.

[buttercarp]

If that is the case then no need to co-habit....

But honestly speaking... do you expect a healthy couple in their sexual prime living together, sleeping on the same bed, apparently in love with each other... to not "do it" ?

Hahaha... I thought I was old fashioned but I think you are more old fashioned than I.

It is difficult but it can be achieved.
Once it is achieved, the relationship will likely be everlasting.

[carbuncle]

You said you are not into women but you still go test drive? Hmmm.... the result of those test drives is already out before you even step in!

I test drove men ok... Can?

[carbuncle]

Hmm...The problem doesn't lies with the girls.
It can't be 100 girls all cannot get along with you. (You said you lost count so hopefully 100 is not too low)

That means you're either too choosy, a playboy or not ready to settle down mah.

Its just sad that the more you drive the more you learn more about what you DONT want...

[carbuncle]

like that the girl lose out leh.... 生米煮成熟饭

or am I just old fashioned?

They seem happy and proud to be single mum leh. Perhaps is the pop culture glamorisation of this. Happy come. Not happy go. If I want baby I can handle on my own....

[carbuncle]

what's the point of staying together but "don't do it"?

Anyway if you stay together but "don't do it" it will not simulate actual marriage conditions and thus defeats the purpose of staying together to "try it out"

To some, getting married may mean end of doing it? No more fun... No more turn on... Every day see the same man/ woman... Or worse the same man/woman grow sideways day by day... Start picking the nose and eating it, wear boxers to 7-11, swim in the underwear, drink direct from bottle from the fridge... Etc etc ;-p

[carbuncle]

Exactly. If want to stay together then MUST DO IT. When a person decided to cohabitate with furture partner, must be mentally prepared to do it. Already staying together better find out everything about the him/her. Maybe one of them CANNOT DO IT how? Assuming everything is good, get married and end up with divorce.

And it is impossible to stay together and just HOLD HAND everyday in the same room and bed. Can't imagine that.

It's like wanting to test drive a car but didn't even start the engine. How to tell if the car can perform or not?

BUT BUT BUT don't do this countless time hor. Only try out if you think you want to marry him/her. If everyone also must stay togther for 1 to 2 yrs, you need 100 years to try out 50 persons.

Hello you indeed old fashioned uncle. There are 7 days in a week.

[carbuncle]

[QUOTE=chiaberry]

The mother had custody of the kids. Sent them to posh (read "expensive") boarding schools. The father only got to see them during holidays (provided they weren't following the mother to some exotic destination). She was a "hot" (beautiful) blonde. But as far as I am aware, neither of them remarried immediately. I could see why there was a mismatch. The husband was an ordinary-looking down-to-earth bloke. Very nice neighbour.

You mean like Jacky Chan with Jessica Alba some sort?

[carbuncle]

If that is the case then no need to co-habit....

But honestly speaking... do you expect a healthy couple in their sexual prime living together, sleeping on the same bed, apparently in love with each other... to not "do it" ?

Hahaha... I thought I was old fashioned but I think you are more old fashioned than I.

I see hot guys immediately check out their a** and think about doing it already... And I pushing 40.... Either I am sex crazed or not getting enough.

[carbuncle]

It is difficult but it can be achieved.
Once it is achieved, the relationship will likely be everlasting.

I ever tried this with my ex. End up after few months he go online irc to find...

[roly8]

the chance of having sex when co-habit is pretty high..

However, i feel that the key to a successive marriage is:

be able to fully understand of your other half's habit, personality & living style..

see if you can tolerate or not..then make the final decision ..

[roly8]

I see hot guys immediately check out their a** and think about doing it already... And I pushing 40.... Either I am sex crazed or not getting enough.

are you male or female?

u into guy?

[carbuncle]

are you male or female?

u into guy?

Keke. I also MM supporter. Man into man lol. Dont scared la. I seriously doubt got any hot guy in this forum...

[ysyap]

I see hot guys immediately check out their a** and think about doing it already... And I pushing 40.... Either I am sex crazed or not getting enough.

Tried out 100 and still not enough???

[carbuncle]

Tried out 100 and still not enough???

Who say 100.... Not me... Really try out relationship one maybe less than 10 ba

[ysyap]

Who say 100.... Not me... Really try out relationship one maybe less than 10 ba

Yes yes u didn't say 100. It was PN. Anyway, you said you've lost count... well, cheers!

[carbuncle]

Yes yes u didn't say 100. It was PN. Anyway, you said you've lost count... well, cheers!

Ya I did... Ha ha. Anyway I started young la... Around 18yo....

[PN]

Yes yes u didn't say 100. It was PN. Anyway, you said you've lost count... well, cheers!

Oops.... I'm just making assumption only. Because if can count with our fingers & toes, shouldn't lose count.

Alamak why I so kaypo?