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Thread: To parent, at what age did you have your first child?

  1. #1
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    Default To parent, at what age did you have your first child?

    and your ideal age to start family with children?
    I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” - Robert Frost quotes (American poet, 1874-1963)

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    Quote Originally Posted by roly8
    and your ideal age to start family with children?
    Let me tell you the younger the better!

    The younger you are the more energy you have to care of young kids, some more can retire earlier and your cash outlay will not be eroded by inflation.

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    Hey.... This is a property forum leh!
    Since you asked, I would ask you to consider it from a financial point of view.
    Have 2 kids before your wife turn 30 and you will have some tax exemption.
    The more kids and the younger she is the larger the exempted amount.

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    My ideal... marry by 28 because you need at least 2 years to start earning and saving to have enough for metrimonial home and wedding expenses. I'm not for the idea of borrowing/getting money from parents.

    Then enjoy 2 years of no kids. Once kids arrive, its a path of no return.

    Best have 2 or 3 kids. One child is very boring for that child.

    Btw, the ave age for guys getting married in Singapore is 30 (I think) and for ladies is 29 (I think).

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    Quote Originally Posted by buttercarp
    Hey.... This is a property forum leh!
    Since you asked, I would ask you to consider it from a financial point of view.
    Have 2 kids before your wife turn 30 and you will have some tax exemption.
    The more kids and the younger she is the larger the exempted amount.
    Oops..... Actually I realized that this is outdated. Things changed in 2005.
    Whatever it is, it is better for the woman to give birth when she is young and energetic.

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    Having said all this, marrying late for any reasons is nothing to be upset about too. Spend some quality time looking for that someone you can spend the rest of your life with is extremely vital. My friend married his wife after only knowing for 3 months. Now he took to out to drink kopi and lamented his regrets.... I also know of people who are already pass 35 and still deliberating on her potential spouse. She just wants to be super careful.

    Doubtless to say, childbearing for a younger lady is definitely easier than for an older one but this should not be the sole reason for marrying early. With today's medical advancement, childbearing at 40 is still feasible, amid that bit more body aches.

    My only issue with late childbearing is when your kid takes you to his/her school for Parents meeting session, you are the only one with a walking stick...

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    i worry for myself...30yr still no gf..
    I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” - Robert Frost quotes (American poet, 1874-1963)

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    Quote Originally Posted by roly8
    i worry for myself...30yr still no gf..
    Don't worry bro.
    Men no pause.
    Any age also can.

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    Quote Originally Posted by buttercarp
    Don't worry bro.
    Men no pause.
    Any age also can.
    Men no pause... SUPER LIKE lol lol

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    Question: 成家 first then 立业 or vice versa?

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    正心、修身、齐家、治国,平天下.

    i.e.... marriage after graduation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosegarden
    正心、修身、齐家、治国,平天下.

    i.e.... marriage after graduation.
    Sad to say many parents not even achieved the first... And the 修身养性 become痒性 already even before 7yrs is up

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    many say is marriage first then start your biz..
    I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” - Robert Frost quotes (American poet, 1874-1963)

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    Quote Originally Posted by buttercarp
    Don't worry bro.
    Men no pause.
    Any age also can.
    Got lah... andropause... but may not affect every man...

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    Quote Originally Posted by roly8
    many say is marriage first then start your biz..
    I know of a couple who married when guy was still studying. No cash to buy house but parent decided to give them a HDB unit. Hmmm.... well I am not for that but not sure about your opinion... I still think must work for like 2 years to save enough cash...

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    Quote Originally Posted by carbuncle
    Question: 成家 first then 立业 or vice versa?
    both, together.

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    It all depend on your parents. Parents got money want you to get marry early and have children early. No money will sure tell you to get your career first.

    I will tell my son to get marry early, money can earn later I can't wait for my grand kids.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcachon
    It all depend on your parents. Parents got money want you to get marry early and have children early. No money will sure tell you to get your career first.

    I will tell my son to get marry early, money can earn later I can't wait for my grand kids.
    I think most guys have their first kid around early 30s, while for ladies it is late 20s. But it depends on race and nationality too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcachon
    It all depend on your parents. Parents got money want you to get marry early and have children early. No money will sure tell you to get your career first.

    I will tell my son to get marry early, money can earn later I can't wait for my grand kids.
    You are naturally speaking from a loving parents' point of view coz you are willing to dish out the cash to help him. However, is your son sharing the same view? My cousin refused to take a single cent from his parents despite the fact that they were willing to pay for his metrimonial home and wedding dinner. I never asked my parents for any help too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcachon
    It all depend on your parents. Parents got money want you to get marry early and have children early. No money will sure tell you to get your career first.

    I will tell my son to get marry early, money can earn later I can't wait for my grand kids.
    It is good that you have the grandparent instinct.
    For me I couldn't care less if my kids got married or not, and not to mention having grandchildren.
    No way I would take care of them if I have any in future.
    Even if they get married in future, it is their problem.
    I would not want to participate in it other than giving them my blessings.
    To me if you want to bring life into this world you have to be able to provide quality care. If you are not confident, then don't bring a child into this world.
    So I would encourage my kids to think of career first before marriage.

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    If you look at the statistics in SG, the median age for guys is 30 and gals is 27.7.

    My personal opinion is 26/27 for girls and early 30 for guy. Reason as I mentioned in another thread...... maturity and financial ability to start a family.

    Maturity - both are now ready to settle down and start a family. No more or less going to pubs or clubbing. Less impulsive and they know what kind of wife/husband they need at these age. Go for looks is normal but must also understand the other half besides the face. Tell you guys a secret here. A friend actuallly introduce me a very pretty girl before I married my wife. My wife is also pretty by my standard but still will look pale if both stand side by side. But I just don't feel secure to have such beauty as wife. No regrets for the decision made.

    Career & Income - Both should be working for at least 6 yrs already (guy got NS). So both combined income & savings (plus CPF) should be enough to buy their love nest. Don't keep relying on parents to buy for you. If parents insist on helping you with $$$, make sure you don't let them down when you married. Pay them back by installment or care for them for the rest of their life.

    Babies - if girls married at 26 & with some family planning, first child will come at 27/28 and second child probably around 32. If still want 3rd child still can make it at or before 35.


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    Quote Originally Posted by PN
    If you look at the statistics in SG, the median age for guys is 30 and gals is 27.7.

    My personal opinion is 26/27 for girls and early 30 for guy. Reason as I mentioned in another thread...... maturity and financial ability to start a family.

    Maturity - both are now ready to settle down and start a family. No more or less going to pubs or clubbing. Less impulsive and they know what kind of wife/husband they need at these age. Go for looks is normal but must also understand the other half besides the face. Tell you guys a secret here. A friend actuallly introduce me a very pretty girl before I married my wife. My wife is also pretty by my standard but still will look pale if both stand side by side. But I just don't feel secure to have such beauty as wife. No regrets for the decision made.

    Career & Income - Both should be working for at least 6 yrs already (guy got NS). So both combined income & savings (plus CPF) should be enough to buy their love nest. Don't keep relying on parents to buy for you. If parents insist on helping you with $$$, make sure you don't let them down when you married. Pay them back by installment or care for them for the rest of their life.

    Babies - if girls married at 26 & with some family planning, first child will come at 27/28 and second child probably around 32. If still want 3rd child still can make it at or before 35.

    haha.. thanks for sharing. Really valuable!!

    i prefer average looking also. Definitely not into pretty girl. They really do make feel unsecure.

    And i do check the type of diet/food she eat - healthy or unhealthy & the personality - simple or complicated type .. LOL!!

    eg. i once attracted to a lady while having my meal outside sometime back..
    and she have fish & chip(fried) + a cold drink to wash down her food.. this is a big NONO...





    Quote Originally Posted by ysyap
    You are naturally speaking from a loving parents' point of view coz you are willing to dish out the cash to help him. However, is your son sharing the same view? My cousin refused to take a single cent from his parents despite the fact that they were willing to pay for his metrimonial home and wedding dinner. I never asked my parents for any help too.
    i am under this category ..find it ashamed to use my parent's money when you are already grow up. And my parent are not rich enough to pay for my wedding & house too... so, i foresee it is really up to me to work hard to settle everything myself..


    Quote Originally Posted by buttercarp
    It is good that you have the grandparent instinct.
    For me I couldn't care less if my kids got married or not, and not to mention having grandchildren.
    No way I would take care of them if I have any in future.
    Even if they get married in future, it is their problem.
    I would not want to participate in it other than giving them my blessings.
    To me if you want to bring life into this world you have to be able to provide quality care. If you are not confident, then don't bring a child into this world.
    So I would encourage my kids to think of career first before marriage.
    Good one.. must plan properly before plunge in marriage & baby .. it is a big decision to make
    I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” - Robert Frost quotes (American poet, 1874-1963)

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    By today's standards, finding a girl who is married at 26 is really rare. You sure the statistic of 27.7 is updated? I vaguely remembered its like 28 or 29. Hmmm... In past 5 years, I only know of one girl who was married at 26 (not mentioning short gun lah).

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    Personal experience: Had my first child at 35, last child at 41.

    If I had the chance again, I would have had them earlier. As forum members have rightly pointed out, you have more energy to take care of them when you are younger.

    For guys, keep on looking. Must pay close attention to the personality and life style habits as well as the looks. The very pretty ones are somewhat of a question mark: I hear that many of the cases of cheating spouse these days involves the wife rather than the husband (this info from medical circles rather than social circles as that is where they end up when things go wrong.....). And I think another flag is the one carrying the Birkin hand bag. Need to watch out for that one as she has some tendency to value material possessions....

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    Quote Originally Posted by roly8
    haha.. thanks for sharing. Really valuable!!

    i prefer average looking also. Definitely not into pretty girl. They really do make feel unsecure.

    And i do check the type of diet/food she eat - healthy or unhealthy & the personality - simple or complicated type .. LOL!!

    eg. i once attracted to a lady while having my meal outside sometime back..
    and she have fish & chip(fried) + a cold drink to wash down her food.. this is a big NONO...






    i am under this category ..find it ashamed to use my parent's money when you are already grow up. And my parent are not rich enough to pay for my wedding & house too... so, i foresee it is really up to me to work hard to settle everything myself..



    Good one.. must plan properly before plunge in marriage & baby .. it is a big decision to make
    One of the worse thing to do is to subject yourself to comparison with other people. Different people have different standards when it comes to marriage age and childbearing age. It is not helpful if you keep comparing yourself with people around you. Its good that you are at least objective and know that you want to start asking and looking.

    Me no guru but just a few pointers...

    Other than the super NO NO like what you've mentioned about eating habits, etc, the funny thing is you'll never know who is the right person until you spend some time getting to know that person. That process can take up to 2 or 3 months. You not only discreetly observe but also must have lunch or chit chat with the person to have a hint of her values and perspective and hobbies, etc. Don't just watch and watch and watch then you soon realize she's attached liao...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ysyap
    By today's standards, finding a girl who is married at 26 is really rare. You sure the statistic of 27.7 is updated? I vaguely remembered its like 28 or 29. Hmmm... In past 5 years, I only know of one girl who was married at 26 (not mentioning short gun lah).
    I don't have 2011 figures so using 2010 figures. These figures include both married under women's charter and muslim law act. If exclude muslim law act, Median age at 1st marriage:-
    Groom is 30.4
    Bride is 28

    More on those under women's charter,

    75% of the 20k under women's charter are 1st marriage.
    Which means the other 25% are not 1st timer

    76.9% of grooms and 74.5 of brides are with Uni qualifications.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ysyap
    One of the worse thing to do is to subject yourself to comparison with other people. Different people have different standards when it comes to marriage age and childbearing age. It is not helpful if you keep comparing yourself with people around you. Its good that you are at least objective and know that you want to start asking and looking.

    Me no guru but just a few pointers...

    Other than the super NO NO like what you've mentioned about eating habits, etc, the funny thing is you'll never know who is the right person until you spend some time getting to know that person. That process can take up to 2 or 3 months. You not only discreetly observe but also must have lunch or chit chat with the person to have a hint of her values and perspective and hobbies, etc. Don't just watch and watch and watch then you soon realize she's attached liao...
    Great advise

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    Quote Originally Posted by PN
    I don't have 2011 figures so using 2010 figures. These figures include both married under women's charter and muslim law act. If exclude muslim law act, Median age at 1st marriage:-
    Groom is 30.4
    Bride is 28

    More on those under women's charter,

    75% of the 20k under women's charter are 1st marriage.
    Which means the other 25% are not 1st timer

    76.9% of grooms and 74.5 of brides are with Uni qualifications.
    Startling results. Does 75% of our countrymen/women enter uni? Don't think its that high a figure. If not, then those who are married consists of some 75% grads... hmmm... does this imply that more of those who don't enter uni prefer not to marry as compared to grads and undergrads?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ysyap
    Startling results. Does 75% of our countrymen/women enter uni? Don't think its that high a figure. If not, then those who are married consists of some 75% grads... hmmm... does this imply that more of those who don't enter uni prefer not to marry as compared to grads and undergrads?
    For grooms,
    Secondary & lower education 6.3%
    Post secondary education 19.1%

    That's for 2010. Don't know if it's still same for 2011.

    But one thing for sure is people are getiing better educated with higher qualification. That's why nobody want to do the lower pay laborious work. That's is the main reason why Singapore is dependent on FW to fill these jobs.

    It happens not just in Singapore but also other major cities in other countries such as Shanghai, Beijing, etc. But Singapore is better with lower unemployment rate.

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    There is no doubt that having kids as young as possible is beneficial for both the the kids and the parents. Makes financial and physiological sense.

    Problem is, it probably means you have to marry young as well.

    I think most marriages don't work out well when people marry too young, they have not seen enough of the world and met enough interesting people. Along the way as they grow and mature, they can have a better feel of who they are and what type of person they want as a life partner. They may regret committing to the choices they've made when they were younger..

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